A grey day. The sun rose and I got to walk through the colours that rose out of violet into magenta and dissolved into peach and yellow by the time I reached the vet with Kohaku, who was going into surgery to remove a tooth (again). Leaving him there, the sun rose into a cold haze and eventually the rain came. And now, so soon, the sky is darkening and pink at the edges.
Some days are just lonely, no matter how many people there are to love. And sometimes I feel like I am wandering around looking for my tribe: builders who are questioning the systems of building, outsiders who want to call ourselves in, people with a sense of humor, a love of collaboration, deep compassion, willingness to take risks, who are oriented towards connection, and have the resilience to keep experimenting until we can find something that works. Who in other ways are different than me, with different lives experiences, skill sets, and perspectives.
The making of a place, a space of belonging – that’s my calling as well as my longing. It’s amazing because it’s taken me into so many amazing groups and communities. It’s taken me into myself, to discover I belong there, here, in my own breath.
I’m anticipating a time when I’ll be serving people more directly, as a steward, a service provider, a designer, a path-clearer, an ambassador, a negotiator, or any of the other roles a founder might fill. That is very exciting. But I won’t do it alone, even if I have thankfully found peace being by myself.